An open letter from the Queen

This is Schmooshy, not Sonya. I am in charge so I have taken over Sonya's blog. Sonya better let me do this because I call the shots around here. I am in charge because I'm the most beautiful cat in the world. I have the softest fur and the best purr. And even though you people are too stupid to appreciate it, I am also the nicest cat ever.

Today I looked out the window and saw a whole bunch of people going into their cars and driving away. They're always mean to me so I don't care. I even saw a cat outside (not my stupid brother Rocky). I didn't talk with her, but I'm pretty sure she's mean to me so I hate her too.

Then I went to the kitchen to eat some food. I deserve gourmet cat food and plenty of it! I should not have to wait for people to get home to get more food. They are not considerate of the Schmooshy.

I also sat on Sonya's new quilt today and licked myself. The new quilt is colorful and warm and looks too new; that's why I had to clean myself. Besides, it's MY quilt so I can do whatever I want!

All day Rocky is in the other bedroom howling. Everyone thinks he just wants attention but he's really trying to get out so he can attack me. Rocky is the Charles Manson of cats. He should be locked up in cat prison for all the horrible things he's done to me. I am going to get a restraining order from a judge if he doesn't pipe down.

You can come visit me at Sonya's place but if you come anywhere near me you'll regret it Bub! You're probably trying to help Rocky to injure me so I hate you. MAYBE I will make an appearance if you give me catnip and a full container of yogurt. But don't count on it.

Sincerely,
Schmooshy